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A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.
"What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc.
Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand.
"Yes", Timmy; what are the three most important things you would bring with you? asked the Scout Master.
Timmy replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
"Why's that Timmy?"
"Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."
"And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master patiently.
"Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, 'Put that red nine on top of that black ten!'"

1. Split dead limb into fragments; shave one fragment into slivers.
2. Bandage left thumb!
3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments.
4. Bandage left foot!
5. Make a structure of slivers (including those embedded in the hand).
6. Light match.
7. Light match.
8. Repeat "A Scout is cheerful" and light match.
9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of flames.
10. Apply burn ointment to nose!
11. When fire is burning, collect more wood.
12. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.
13. After thunderstorm has passed, repeat the above steps?

Fishing:
A Boy Scout took his little cousin with him when he went fishing. When he got back to the campsite, the scout was extremely fed up.
"I'm never taking him with me again," The Boy Scout complained.
"Did he scare away the fish," the Scoutmaster wondered.
"No," muttered the scout. "He sat on the bank all day eating my earthworms."

The benefits of First Aid Training:
A Scout was telling his fellow Scouts how getting the first aid merit badge had prepared him for an emergency. "I saw a women hit by a truck," he stated. "She had a twisted ankle, broken bones, and a fractured skull."
"How terrible! What did you do?"
"Thanks to my first-aid training, I knew just how to handle it.
I sat on the ground, and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting.

Psychiatrist:
A Scoutmaster stopped in to see his Psychiatrist. "Doc you've got to help me. I keep having the same dream over and over again, and I can't get rid of it." "Tell me about your dream," the psychiatrist inquired. The Scoutmaster responded, "The first night I dreamt about wigwams. The next night I dreamt about teepees. Then wigwams. Then teepees, then...." "Wait I minute," the psychiatrist interrupted. "I think I know what your problem is. You're just two tents."